


Nothing's Perfect

by Darkestsiren



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Smut, shadowhuntersTV - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:13:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9621722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkestsiren/pseuds/Darkestsiren
Summary: Faced with the reality of Magnus's immortality, Alec has a difficult decision to make. And Magnus is so very persuasive.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a Show!Malec/Book!Malec combo thing. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, it's not really that explicit… sry.

We haven’t found Jace yet but I steal a few hours and slink off to see Magnus. He’s been trying to track him, using every spell he can think of, every method he knows. So far nothing. Jace’s absence leaves me feeling jumpy and off balance, sort of half empty and stretched. 

When I ring the bell Magnus waves the door open without getting up. He’s sitting at a large, round table that wasn’t there the last time I was here and it’s covered in piles of ancient looking books and various spell ingredients. Magnus is sprawled across his chair, bare feet hanging over one end, silk-clad arm thrown across the back, with a heavy volume in his lap. His hair is down, soft and free of product, his face unadorned, and I can’t help staring. He looks so young like this, so soft and innocent. I ache to reach out and filter his hair between my fingers, touch the warm skin of his cheeks. 

I don’t. Ever since Camille I’ve been unsteady around him. How can I not be? I’m going to grow old and die and he isn’t. It’s obvious now that I think about it, and even though I don’t really care about the aging part, I can’t bring myself to willingly hurt this amazing, precious person by forcing him to watch me die.

“Hi,” I say, shifting from foot to foot in his doorway. I’m not really sure what to do. I would have just called if all I wanted was a progress update, but now that I’m here I’m not exactly sure what it is that I do want. Maybe I just want this weirdness to end. Maybe I just want to know what the hell I’m doing. 

“Hello darling,” Magnus smiles. He sounds tired. Or maybe bored. He sets his book aside and kicks his legs off the chair arm gracefully. His movements make me shiver and I swallow the sudden rise of heat in my veins. 

“Um, any luck with… this?” I say stupidly, knowing he would have called if there was. 

Magnus frowns. “I’m sure you didn’t come all this way just to ask about this,” he says, waving to the mess of research on his table. 

I smile and shake my head, finally finding my way into the room. 

“Drink?” Magnus asks, floating over to the bar. 

“No, thanks. I’m not really much of a drinker,” I admit. “But you go ahead.”

He cocks his head. “Coffee?”

Before I can answer two steaming cups appear on the coffee table by the couch. Magnus gestures me over and we sit down. I take my cup and take a small sip of the strong, black liquid, relishing the rejuvenating power of heat and caffeine.

“Better?” he asks, sipping his own mug with a small smirk. His drink is paler than mine and there’s whipped cream floating on top. And maybe cinnamon.

“Yeah. Thank you.” I take another sip and turn to face him. “Magnus. I don’t really know what we’re doing here,” I say. My heart is suddenly pounding with nerves. I’m not sure what I want to say, I’m not even sure what I want, but I can’t just keep pretending nothing is bothering me.

“We’re having coffee,” he grins. He’s joking, trying to keep things light even though I can see the shadow in his eyes. He’s afraid of what I’ll do now. So am I.

I sigh and set my cup aside. “I’m going to die,” I say, as gently as I can. “And you aren’t. It’s a problem.”

Magnus sighs and puts his coffee next to mine on the table. He studies me for a minute before settling back into the couch more comfortably. Apparently this is going to be a long conversation. 

“Alexander,” he begins, toying with his rings. I realize he’s nervous. “As you know, I’ve been alive for a very, very long time. Not, perhaps, as long as I sometimes tell people,” he admits with a smirk, “but still a long time. And in that time I’ve learned a thing or two about life.”

He uncrosses his legs and stands, pacing the room anxiously. It’s endearing, really, and incredibly cute, the High Warlock of Brooklyn being worried about talking to me. Little, nothing me. I’m seized with a desperate need to protect him, to make sure I don’t hurt him. I know it’s futile, pain is part of life. Even I, with my scant twenty two years of life, know that much.

“I’ve had many lovers, Alexander,” Magnus drawls, gesturing dramatically. His smile is brittle. “Even a few actual loves. And perhaps more than my share of heartache.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, a little stunned at how that knowledge feels, like a knife in my chest. “Magnus.” I whisper, not even meaning to. 

“You can’t save me from that, Alexander,” he says quietly. “It’s the price I pay for immortality.”

I drop my head to stare at the floor, my heart sick. I can’t be the reason he suffers, not him, not Magnus. “I don’t know if I can do this,” I say, honest.

Magnus is quiet for a long time. He’s stopped his pacing and is standing several feet away. I don’t dare look up at him, if I do I know I’ll cave. I know I’ll fling myself off this couch and wrap him up in my arms. 

“Warlocks tend to distance themselves from life as they age,” he says finally. 

I glance up. Magnus is staring out the window, his back to me, but I can feel the misery pouring off him. I cringe and curse myself. I’m doing this. Again. I’m hurting him. And the longer this thing between us goes on the worse it will be. If I end it now, when we’ve only barely just started, the hurt will be minimal. But later? After a lengthy romance, or a lifetime? How bad will it be then?

“They eventually petrify, become unable to feel anything, to enjoy anything.” Magnus  continues, grimacing. 

I bite back a smile. The idea of Magnus not enjoying life is ludicrous, criminal. 

“When I was much younger I made myself a promise, Alec.” Magnus turns around and I can see the spark in his eyes, the fire. “I promised myself I’d never let that happen, that I’d always live life to the fullest, experience everything the world has to offer.” He gestures while he’s talking, the light fracturing off his rings and bracelets, his movements graceful.

“Even a broken heart?” I ask. I’m shocked to hear how broken my voice sounds.

Magnus nods slowly. “Time heals all wounds,” he says gently. “Eventually.”

I can see them now, the scars, etched into his soul for all time. Healed perhaps, but still there.

“Magnus.” It comes out sounding strangled because I feel like my heart’s breaking and I just want to go to him, soothe all the pain away, but I also want to protect him, save him from yet another set of scars. I’m not worth it, I’m not worth risking this pain over. I should leave now. I should save him. I can’t.

“Alexander,” his voice catches and I meet his eyes. The fire is gone and now there is only desperation. Love and fear and eagerness and longing. His eyes are shining, green and gold and slitted, his glamour discarded, and he’s been so alone it cuts right into me.

“Living this eternally long life of mine without love…  even though I know it will always end the same way… isn’t really living.” He swallows and drops his eyes to the carpet. He looks so vulnerable and yet I can hear his conviction, his willingness to enter into this even though he knows he’ll end up alone no matter what. It breaks me, shames me for being so small minded, so afraid of pain. So willing to walk away from something good and true just because it will someday end. 

“Life without love is just existing,” he whispers. “I want to _live_.”

He looks at me and there are tears in his eyes and I just can’t stand it anymore. I’m off the couch and pulling him into me before I can even breathe, and he’s shaking in my arms and I’m pressing him into me ever harder, pressing my lips into his hair, telling him he’s not alone, that I’m not going anywhere. That we’ll be together.

He holds me for a long time, his face pressed into my neck, his arms tight around me, until finally he takes a deep breath and looks up, a sheepish grin on his face. I know he’s about to apologize so I shake my head and kiss him before he can say anything.

It’s quick at first, a press and swipe of lips, but he’s so warm and he tastes so good and I want him so much, and every time our lips touch the fire inside me surges a little higher and soon I’m cupping his face and drawing him in. He licks my bottom lip, making me sigh, making my fingers clench unconsciously, and then his tongue is my mouth and I’m moaning into him, deepening the kiss, my hands searching out the hem of his shirt so I can touch his luscious skin.

He breathes my name as I drop my lips to his neck, laying open mouthed kisses on his skin, sucking at his pulse point until he shivers and grabs at my shoulders. My hand is on the small of his back and I press him into me and almost lose my balance because he feels so fucking good. 

“Magnus, god!” I’m gasping, my pulse high, heat coursing through me and fogging my mind. All I know is that I’ve wanted this for so long and I never want to stop.

He drags me back to the couch and pushes me down, straddling me with his strong, slim legs and I feel like I’m going burst. My hands draw up and down his back, tangle in his hair, settle at his hips. He’s rocking into me and it’s exquisite and I wonder how far this is going to go, how far he’s expecting it go, and just then he leans away, breathing hard, and gazes down into my eyes. 

“Am I right that I’m your first boyfriend, Alexander?” he asks.

My cheeks flame but I nod. He ducks in and kisses each cheek in turn, soothing me. 

“And, you’ve never tried this sort of thing with a girl, right?”

“No,” I say, grimacing. 

Magnus laughs. It’s pure and free and I decide then and there that I want to hear that sound every day from now until I die. 

“I want you to be absolutely comfortable,” he says. His fingers trace my Deflect Rune, gently moving my shirt aside to follow the thick black lines. “Is this ok?” he asks. 

For a minute I don’t know what he’s talking about but then he shifts his hips a little and I have to catch my breath, remembering how he’s pressed up against me.

I nod, my eyes at half mast. 

Lips replace fingers, tracing the Deflect Rune again, his tongue warm and wet, tasting my skin, branding me. My fingers tighten around his hips and I can feel him against me. He’s hard, as hard as I am, and I gasp at the new sensation. He stills.

“Still ok?” he asks.

I realize my face is scrunched up and I’ve stopped breathing. I make an effort to smooth out my expression, take a few breaths. When I think I’ll be able to talk I open my eyes. Magnus is watching me, his face kind.

“It’s just, um,” I drop my gaze to where Magnus is sitting in my lap. “All a little new.” 

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks softly.

I shake my head. “No.” I catch his eyes. They shimmer with heat but there is endless sweetness there, and patience too. “I want you to kiss me.”

A smile flashes on his face as he claims me again. This time it isn’t fast or desperate, it’s slow and melting and liquid, it’s tender and soft and adoring, it’s love and newness and hope and I think I’ve never been so happy. My arms wrap around Magnus, this miracle of a person that I somehow get to have, and lock him against me. He feels warm and soft and wonderful and I sigh  into the kiss, deepening it just a little as I shift under him. He moans softly, grabbing at my hair, and the sound goes right my crotch. My hips curl up all on their own and I can feel Magnus smiling against my mouth. He rolls his hips again and I think I’m going to break apart. 

My hands are at the hem of his shirt again and I lift it a little, scrunching it up in my fist. 

“Can I… Is it ok if I…?” I pull at the material and Magnus nods. Heart stuttering I lift, grazing silky smooth skin all the way up. He lifts his arms and I draw the shirt off and toss it who knows where. My eyes drag down his body. He’s gorgeous, as I knew he would be, smooth and dark and slim, his muscles firm under his skin. His nipples are slightly darker, perfectly round and pointed, just right for sucking on. I reach out to touch him, glancing up to check his expression. His face is shining, a small smile gracing his lips and I can’t help but lean in and taste them again. I flatten my hand out on his chest, his heat searing into me, and I can feel his heartbeat. It’s thundering, despite his calm exterior and I blush, pleased that I can elicit such a response from him. I’m smiling into the kiss now and Magnus leans back to grin at me.

I bite my lip and duck my head, returning my attention to the immaculate chest in front of me. I put both hands on him and draw them downward slowly, watching the play of pale against dark, his smooth, flawless skin beneath my scarred, Runed hands. Something about the contrast, the softness of his skin, the shape of his body, makes me breathe faster. 

When my hands drift lower Magnus squirms a little. I look up and find him watching me nervously. 

“Did I do something wrong?” I ask quickly, fearing I’ve offended or hurt him without realizing it.

“No, sweet,” he assures me. There’s a hint of a frown on his face and I pull my hands away hurriedly. Magnus sighs, taking my hands into his. “Haven’t you noticed yet?” he asks.

“Noticed what?”

He draws one of my hands down his stomach and stops just above his jeans, waiting. I savor the feeling of his skin, so soft and perfect, so wonderfully unmarred and warm. I smooth over the expanse of his body, searching for what he could possibly be talking about but I can’t find anything wrong with him. I look up again, wondering why he looks scared.

“No belly-button,” he says quietly. “Another Devil’s Mark.” His cheeks are dark. 

My jaw falls open in surprise but I grin, my hands once again sliding over his chest. “So? You’re beautiful,” I say honestly.

His mouth is back on mine almost before I get the words out, his tongue invading me, sending hot shivers down my spine. I kiss him back, pressing my tongue into his, tasting his sweet, electric flavor, reeling from the lushness, my hands splayed on his chest, learning the curves and lines of his body. My fingers run over his nipple and he jumps a little. I can’t hold myself back anymore and I duck down to lick the point. 

Magnus gasps, whispering my name shakily into my hair. His fingers are coiled in the little strands at the back of my neck and when he pulls on them I moan loudly, letting my whole mouth come down on his skin. He tastes like honey and hot days and _man_ and my whole body seizes up, fire racing in my veins. I kiss his skin, letting my tongue glide over him, switching to the other nipple and grazing it with my teeth.

“Alexander!” Magnus moans. His hips start rocking into me again, his back arching, and I wrap my arms around his back to keep him from falling, pull him into me just a little harder, gasping at the pressure. My hands drift lower, finding the supple curve of his ass, but I’m too shy to knead into him, like I want to. Instead I just cup him, press his body into mine, my tongue drawing shapes into his chest. 

Magnus stretches up, his back arching. His hands fall to my shoulders and his hips are moving in a steady rhythm, pressing against me deliciously. I’m so hard it’s almost painful, straining against my jeans, but I don’t care. I need more. 

“Magnus,” I gasp. It’s almost a whine, breathy with need, and I’m glad my face is hidden because my cheeks are flaming. 

“I’m here, sweet. Tell me what you want.” Magnus melts into me, pushing me up against the back of the couch and I have no choice but to raise my head and look at him. I can see desire burning in his eyes and I shiver, surging up to capture his mouth again. He is gentle and soft and so, so sweet, and I’m losing all ability to form conscious thoughts. 

Magnus moves his mouth to my Rune again and I moan, dragging my hands up and down his back, enjoying the slimness of his waist, the smooth heat of his perfect skin. 

“Alexander,” Magnus murmurs, his lips still on my throat. “Darling, you have to tell me what you want.”

I swallow and try to make mind work but I’m too overcome, heat pounding in my blood. All I can do is whimper. 

Magnus stills, leaning up to look at me. His smile is gentle. He draws the line of my cheekbone with tender fingers, waiting for me to collect myself. 

I get lost in his eyes though, his true eyes, and I feel like I’m falling. I tighten my arms around him and let my head fall onto his shoulder, breathing in his heady scent. “You,” I say, breathless. “I want you.”

Magnus strokes my hair and I can feel him smiling against my cheek. “I want you, too, Alexander.” He lifts my head gently, his palms cupping my face, and looks into my eyes. “And, physically?” he asks, smoothing my cheeks with his thumbs.

My blush deepens and I press my eyes closed. I’ve never had to talk about this before, never even been asked what I want, _physically_ or otherwise. I don’t know what to say, or if I even can say anything. 

Magnus seems to understand. “Would you like to come?” he asks softly. His lips whisper against the skin under my ear and I shudder, both at the feeling and his implication. 

Gulping, I give him a small nod and he rolls his hips slightly. 

I gasp, fingers curving slightly against his taut back muscles, a throbbing in my lower body that I can’t ignore.

“With my hands, or like this?” Magnus rolls his hips again, this time with more force, and I moan, my head falling back. Magnus is using his tongue to trace my Rune again and I swear I’m going shatter. 

“Like this,” I manage. Though I want his hands on me I’m not sure I can handle it just yet. Magnus is so intense, so intoxicating and gorgeous and kind, and I feel like I’m burning and drowning all at once. “Please.”

“Of course, Alexander. Anything you want.” Magnus lets his hands slide over my shoulders and fall to my sides, bunching up the fabric of my shirt. “May I take this off?”

I nod and Magnus leans back just enough to slide the material up. I help him cast if off and then I’m moaning his name again as he drapes himself over me. His skin is so soft, his body all lithe strength and heat and delicate lines, and I’m arching up against him, pulling him down to me, aching for more, dying to get closer, closer, closer still. I find his lips and drink him in, my hands coming up to cradle his head, keeping him against me as he starts to rock his hips into mine again. 

“Angel!” I yelp, burying my face against his neck, suckling the sweetness of his skin while he grinds into me. “Magnus, oh my god.” I’m losing control again, my hips arching up to meet his, my hands tight around his waist, pulling him down into me. I can feel Magnus through the layers of our clothes, hard and eager, like I am, pulsing against me, and it’s the most exquisite, wonderful thing I’ve ever felt.

“Alexander,” Magnus gasps. I can feel him panting and I’m amazed that he’s reacting to me this strongly. He moves his hands to my chest, smoothing the skin over my heart, trailing down my stomach, drawing patterns into my skin, tracing my Runes, every touch searing into me. “You’re so beautiful,” he tells me. His lips are on my skin, my throat, my collarbone, his body moving against mine, and the heat is building, building, my blood singing, body shaking. 

“Magnus,” I gasp again. I want his mouth on mine and I reach up to angle him toward me. When I kiss him, Magnus moans into my mouth, a sound that goes straight to my groin, and my hips buck up against his, sending fire racing through me. Magnus pushes his tongue into my mouth, sliding it against mine, trailing over my teeth. He tastes of honey and sunshine and the vague metallic taste of magic and I can’t get enough. I kiss him hard, smiling against his lips as our teeth collide.

I twist so I can fall back onto the couch, pulling Magnus with me. He wedges his leg between my thighs and then slides his hand down my leg, lifting my knee up. The angle is blinding and I’m throwing my head back, almost screaming as heat floods me, the delicious pressure between my legs bringing me nearly to the shattering point. I’m thrashing, wanton, and Magnus moans again, his hips stuttering against mine. 

“Oh my god, Alexander,” Magnus mumbles, staring down at me. His face is flushed, the color high in his cheekbones, and his cat eyes are glazed, bare chest shining. He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“I want you, Magnus,” I moan, incoherent. I have to squeeze my eyes shut and breathe,  trying to stave off my orgasm. “So much.”

“So much,” he echoes. “Come for me, sweet.”

I let go, shaking and screaming his name, fire flooding through me in waves, electricity racing through my veins as I pour out everything I am for this glorious, miraculous man. A moment later Magnus is shaking too, his body clenching up, my name pouring from his lips. I surge up to swallow his moans, stunned and grateful that I actually get to see Magnus like this, laid bare and vulnerable before me, splintering with pleasure. I kiss him lovingly, adoring, holding him tight as he empties himself. We’re both panting, covered with a sheen of sweat, smiling into each other’s kiss.

After a while Magnus sighs and lays his head on my chest. I let my fingers tangle in his hair, content to just lie here for as long as he’ll let me.

“How was it?” Magnus asks me after a while.

I sigh, a little bit of a rumble in my chest. “Perfect.”

Magnus lifts his head, a happy smile lighting his face. 

“And, for you?” I ask shyly. I can feel my face heating.

He grins wickedly. “I haven’t been able to get off that way in a long time, Alexander,” he says, licking his lips. I can’t help but stare at them. “You are truly amazing, my Shadowhunter.”

My blush deepens and Magnus laughs. 

“Are you hungry?” he asks, sitting up and cleaning up our mess with a flurry of blue sparks. 

I nod. “Starved. How about that date I keep promising you?”

Magnus jumps up and claps joyfully. I laugh, happier than I can remember ever being. I thank all the Angels everywhere that I get to have this, that I get to have _him_.

I roll up to my feet and look around for my shirt.

“Give me a minute to do something with my hair and face,” Magnus says. 

I nod but catch his arm as he passes me on his way to the bathroom. “You look stunning like this,” I say. 

Magnus blushes demurely and I lean down to kiss him.

“You look stunning made up too,” I smile and Magnus grins, pulling away with a wink.

**Author's Note:**

> So there it is! The first time Alec and Magnus deal with the immorality issue. And the first time they get busy, lol.  
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
